I hereby tender my resignation
I'm almost back to the first day of classes on another (hopefully last) school year. The best part of going back to school is quitting my summer job. Well maybe not the best part, but definitly the most satisfying. This has me somewhat worried, because eventually the day is going to come when I have a real job (also hopefully) that I can't just quit on after a few months. Pretty much every job I've ever had has gone through the same three stages, the timetables may differ by a week or two, but they're essentially the same.

Stage 1 "Training And Learning": This is usually the first 10-14 days where I'm shown the ropes and evaluated by my superiors. The thought process is 'I like money, this job provides money, just don't fuck up'. Most times there are other new people too, so the main goal is just to fuck up less than the other rookies, and thanks to a lot of former co-workers this task has been fairly simple.

Stage 2 "Dominating The Game": After my initial two-week learning period the next 4-6 weeks will consist of me training the new rookies, handling my business, and being an all-around great employee. At this point the bosses and supervisors will have recognized my excellent people skills and problem solving abilities.

Stage 3 "Fuck You! I Quit!": This stage is pretty much exactly the same as Stage 2, with the only exception being that I'm starting to have fantasies of extreme ways to quit. These fantasies usually involve me throwing things, punching people and swearing...a lot. The best part about this stage is that no one other than myself knows that we've gone into a new stage. I am able to mask the anger and rage behind my professional smile and attitude...if only they knew what I was planning. Of course when it actually comes time to quit I try to give the accepted two weeks notice and keep up the appearance of a model employee. Because if you're going to burn a bridge you might as well burn everything that was on the other side of that bridge too, and I'm not that evil yet.
- posted by Mike @ 12:51 AM