Hot dog! We have a weiner!
Okay so I didn't quite get to this story on the weekend. My sincere apologies to anyone who waited around for it (hey it could happen).

The Set-up: Two weekends ago I went on a trip with one of my classes to a place just outside of Toronto. It was only a 3 hour trip...but it was on a yellow school bus. I used to say that they don't make those buses for tall folks, but now I think they're just not made for anyone. So we get to our destination and get the educational portion of the trip over, and then instead of going to bed like a responsible adult a small group of students and I decide that our night would be much better spent being rediculous. I woke up on a 4 foot wide loveseat (I'm 6'5" remember) and a little bit hungover. Then we went on a nature hike, learned a little more and piled back onto the bus to go for lunch.

The Order: We arive at the establishment where we will be dining and its a quaint little eatery just large enough to accomadate our class (about 20-25 people). Now at this point I'm feeling not too bad, but I want to be safe and not offend my stomach so I start looking for something unoffensive. Poutine? I inquired about the cheese, but it was just shredded cheddar...thats not worth taking the chance on. Soup of the Day? Clam chow-daire...say chowdah! Yeah, well I wasn't going near that. Then I see what looked to be the best option on the menu "Hotdog - $2.00". Yeeah thats the one, I can handle a hot dog, and for two bucks this can't go wrong. Then our server takes our orders:

Me: I'll have the hotdog and a Pepsi please
Server: You want everything on that?
Me: Everything but relish
Server: Okay great

The Hotdog: So our food arives, and the hotdog is set before me. Someone at the table actually started laughing out loud (or LOLing for you fancy internet folk). Have you clicked on that picture yet? Check it out, thats what it looked like after I tried to fix it up a little. When I got it all the condiments were in the middle of the bun with nothing at the extremities, and the onion ring was sitting on top of the bun. So I used the onion to spread the toppings around a little to gain some more coverage. Oh and do you see that green stuff? yeah that'd be the relish I didn't ask for. And how old do you think that bun was? I'm putting the over/under at a year and a half.

The Aftermath: Someone at the table actually asked if I was going to eat it. My smart-ass reply was 'No, I'm gonna take a picture of it and sell it as artwork. Of course I'm going to eat it...its not like you can ruin a hotdog'. So if you want to order a colour print of that hotdog you and e-mail me and we'll work out a fair price. But if you want to save it and make it your desktop picture I'll let you do that for free! Anyway it turns out I was right, you can't ruin a hotdog, because in spite of its appearance it was actually pretty good. Well except for the relish, that shit is just ass-nasty!
- posted by Mike @ 12:25 PM