Sit, Ubu, sit! Good dog!

Its the year of the dog so the good people over at Retrocrush made a list of the top 100 dogs in popozao pop culture. We all know what a sucker I am for a list of anything, and this one is so brutal that I've got to make my own. So here is my top 10 pop culture dogs:








10. Wishbone
9. Toto
8. Eddie
7. Brian
6. Benji
5. Rowlf
4. McGruff the Crime Dog
3. Snoopy
2. Sam
1. The Littlest Hobo

And just because I don't think there were enough links to click on in that post here is a game for you to procrastinate with.
- posted by Mike @ 2:03 PM 5 comments

 
Speaking of movies...
Have you seen the previews or commercials for this new movie...shit I don't know what its actually called. You know it though, "the call is comming from inside the house", that one. Anyway its based on an old campfire story right? What does it take, 5 minutes...10 tops to tell that story. How do you make that into a feature length movie? I know there have been movies made that probably had worse plots then whatever they're doing to this movie to stretch it out. The Tuxedo, I'm looking in your direction.

Remember Urban Legend? They needed like 6 of these stories to make one movie, now granted they had enough leftover to make a sequel*. I never actually saw the second Urban Legend movie (but I should because Jennifer Morrison and Eva Mendes are in it) so I'm just assuming that they probably trotted out a few more stories to get them through the movie (or maybe they just reused the ones from the first movie).

The moral of the story is that this movie looks like crap. Although I'm guessing you didn't need my analysis to tell you that one.

*It took me about 5 minutes to think of the word 'sequel' I kept wanting to say 'remix'.
- posted by Mike @ 12:46 PM 3 comments

 
Movie Game
Here is a game I came across while procrastinating this afternoon. I'm sitting on 36 correct answers at this point. Giver a shot.

I've got 2, 5, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 18, 21, 24, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 38, 40, 42, 43, 44, 47, 49, 51, 55, 57, 58, 59, 63, 65, 66, 67, 68 and 71. I'm looking for some hints on the others, between everyone reading this we oughta be able to get them all.
- posted by Mike @ 4:29 PM 9 comments

 
Phew, that was a close one

I was sitting in one of my classes yesterday and the guy in front of me was wearing a new Kobe Bryant jersey and talkin to his buddy about the 81, I wasn't tryin to listen too closely but I did hear him say that one of the sports stores near my place had basketball jerseys on sale. Hmmmm sale you say? So I decided to swing by there on my way home and see if they had the Kevin Garnett jersey I wanted. They only had the white one, and I was looking for the alternate away blue jersey, but damnit I couldn't beat the price, so I got the white one.

Anyway the whole point of this story is that while I was there I was talking with one of the employees and he asked me if I thought Garnett would get traded this season. Well I'd like this jersey to be accurate for a little while at least, but I'm also a Garnett fan before I'm a Timberwolves fan and I want to see him win a championship. I don't know if Minnisota is the place for him to do it anymore (actually I pretty much know it isn't). As long as he doesn't go to a team I hate like the Lakers or Knicks I think I would be okay with it...well I'd learn to be okay with it over time I hope. So then I get home with my new purchase and fire up the computer to mess around with my pools and what headline do I see? "Timberwolves and Celtics make big trade" Fuck. Turns out that Garnett wasn't moved so my panic attack only lasted a couple seconds, and the T-Wolves got Ricky Davis and some scrubs for Wally and some scrubs. We'll see how it works out.
- posted by Mike @ 12:11 PM 2 comments

 
MVP and don't even command appeal

Mario Lemieux announced his retirement from the NHL today. The guy was a phenomenal talent, and he is partially responsible for changing the game. I'll give the man credit he was a great hockey player. But his leaving the game makes Steve Yzerman the greatest all-time active player and thats what I'm most happy about.

What I'm not happy about is the disrespect that Yzerman is getting in a couple of sports website polls. On tsn.ca and espn.com they want to know who we think the best all-time 'pure' scorer and the top offencive talent are respectivly. Yzerman's name doesn't make it onto either list. This is the part where I put in my favorite trivia question that you've heard and read from me many times: What player in the NHL has the highest point total for a single season not named Gretzky or Lemieux? Even if you haven't heard me spout that one off before you should probably be able to figure it out based on the way this paragraph started out. Fuck Brett Hull. Also not getting any respect on those polls are Pavel Bure and Mike Gartner two of the purest goal machines the game has seen.

Speaking of pure scoring machines and stupid polls how bout Kobe '81' Bryant. You can head over to nba.com and vote on which you think was more amazing Kobe's 81 point game or Wilt Chamberlin's 100 point game. I'm no math major but I think Kobe's game was about 80% as impressive as Wilt's.

Now I want to see the race to go 100+ and I want to see it this season. Obviously Kobe has to potential to make it, but how bout some guys like Iverson, McGrady, Lebron or even Garnett make a run at it? And I'm sure Shaq would love to break 100 before Kobe did it. Next time any of those guys have a game against the Raptors thats the mindset they should go into the game with 'Fuck it, I'm puttin 101 up on this team!' and if there was a team to do it against it'd be the Raptors. Or maybe a run and gun game with the Suns, that'd work too.

I was gonna write about the Ron Artest trade but that already came off the table faster then Artest himself after being hit with a projectile beverage.

Yeah, that was a cheap joke, but in my own defence it was better then setting it up with 'that Ron Artest trade sure got punched in the face...'

Well that covers two of the major sports. I'm not all that hyped up about the superbowl but I'll make an official prediction later in the week. I pretty much hate the Steelers so I'm cheering for the Seahawks by default...if you're gonna call the Superbowl "XL" I think there should be at least 3 teams playing the game.

I can't even make up a baseball story to let me say I talked about all the major sports so I'm going to cheat and say that golf is just as good. I actually don't have anything golf related to say either, but I did start a golf pool so if you want in on that sweetness just gimme a shout.

I'm putting the answers for the last music quote ID in the comments down on that post. No one got the hockey one, so try to get the one that the title of this post came from. Hint: The 'artist' is an athlete

And a bonus just cause I've got a couple more minutes to kill before House.
"I started writing 22 months and 20 weeks prior to Lebron shaking the deal for the Nike's
I'm right here 6 years after Randy Moss caught his first touchdown for the Vikings."

- posted by Mike @ 8:09 PM 3 comments

 
Who doesn't love a good draft?

If you didn't see the last episode of LOST and you don't want me to ruin everything about it this would be a good time to get out of here. At the end of the last episode after encountering Captain Scruffy McOther in the jungle Jack sits down with Ana-Lucia and says "Sayid tells me you're a cop. How long do you think it would take to train an army?". Okay great shes a cop but (as Steve pointed out) Sayid was already IN the army wouldn't he be the guy to talk to? I expect there to be some conflict in the way a cop would train an army verses how a soldier would do it (not to mention the whole she killed his island girlfriend thing). So my solution is to make two teams, and the only way to make it fair and balanced is to have a draft. Ana-Lucia gets the first pick because Sayid already has the advantage considering his experience.

Round 1: Ana-Lucia Pick - Mr. Eko

A smart first pick. One of the strongest castaways has already killed two of the others with his bare hands and stared down the monster. Plus Eko and Ana-Lucia have been together since the crash and have a history of working well together.

Round 1: Sayid Pick - Jack

This was a tough call, Sayid struggled between taking either Jack or Locke but in the end realizing that the need for a doctor could be the turning point he made the smart choice.

Round 2: Ana-Lucia Pick - John Locke

Another great pick, Locke brings superior tracking skills to the team which is sure to be an asset. Plus he also has a connection with teammate Eko and thats good for team chemistry.

Round 2: Sayid Pick - Kate

This pick might have had a little bit of Jack's influence, but its a great pick. Shes a proven tracker which this team was in need of and she has serious gun experience. Plus shes hot beyond reasonable logic and you don't want to miss a chance to add that value to a team.

Round 3: Ana-Lucia Pick - Michael

I was suprised to see Michael go this early in the draft, but you can't fault Ana-Lucia's logic. "Did you see that raft he built? Surely he can make us some coconut guns or something"

Round 3: Sayid Pick - Sawyer

Remember when this guy killed a polar bear? Hes a steal to get at the end of the 3rd round. Although the gamble of putting Jack, Kate and Sawyer all on the same team could backfire.

Round 4: Ana-Lucia Pick - Jin

Other than his wife, Michael seems to be the only castaway able to consistantly understand Jin so this was a good pick to pair these two up. Jin has shown extreme toughness in surviving the raft expedition and rumbling with crazy Ethan.

Round 4: Sayid Pick - Vincent

It looked like Charlie was sure to come off the board with the last pick of the draft, but Team Sayid was so unimpressed with the abilities Charlie would be bringing to the table that they drafted the dog.


- posted by Mike @ 5:25 PM 1 comments

 
Welcome to the Jungle

We're about two-thirds of the way through January and I'm still eating halloween candy. Thats just fucking disgusting. Anyone want a tootsie roll? How bout some nibs, or rockets? Seriously folks I've got enough to get me at least til Easter.

With the new season of 24 starting and Chuck Norris' popularity at an all time high many people are wondering who would win a fight between Chuck and Jack Bauer. Well by many people I mean at least these guys. Honestly though it would be so one-sided I don't think you can even call it a fight. Heres how I think it would go down:

Chuck Norris would start with a predictable roundhouse kick. Jack would grab his foot and break it. Chuck would awake a couple of hours later handcuffed to a chair. Now Jack knows that Chuck Norris is willing to die for his cause so directly torturing him wouldn't get results (and Jack Bauer is all about getting results). Unfortunatley while Chuck Norris was unconscious Jack kidnapped Mrs. Norris and the Norris kids and he is willing to kill them if Chuck doesn't tell him what he needs to know, NOW!...hes fuckin crazy man he'll do it! Of course Chuck Norris can't allow any harm to come to his family and Bauer gets his way. Game over.

Thats pretty much all I've got to mutter about today, so spend the rest of the weekend trying to figure out what songs these lines belong to. Degree of dificulty: No rap music

1) I am the man of constant sorrow, I've seen trouble all my days
I bid farewell to old Kentucky, the place where I was born and raised

2) Re-jec-ted since day one, My name is bastard son

3) Gonna take her out shes my latest attraction, Gonna hang around want to get a reaction

4) You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey, Well I never saw someone say that before

5) Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding,
The cretins cloneing and feeding, and I don't even own a TV

If you need some hints highlight the spaces below
1.Its from a movie soundtrack...a good movie...with George Clooney

2.I'm pretty sure these guys are Canadian...that oughta narrow it down a bit

3.These guys are from down under

4.Man I suck at hints...these guys are definitly Canadian. But you should've already known that...c'mon who else is singin about hockey right?

5.This is another soundtrack one, mid-90s I think. The female lead from the movie is currently pregnant

- posted by Mike @ 2:27 PM 5 comments

 
Get in the Trunk

If you've watched any sports highlights from last night you've no doubt seen Antonio 'ex-Raptor' Davis go into the stands. I don't have any problem with this, he saw his wife being threatened by a drunk 'fan' and went in as protection. No punches or beverages thrown. Of course we all remember the brawl-fest at The Palace last season, but have you seen the footage of Davis? As he gets to the seats where his wife is located some fan puts his hand on Antonio's shoulder and assumes the 'easy big fella' pose. Are you insane?! Antonio Davis is 6'9" and ripped, granted its not the same as seeing Ron Artest comming towards you, but I think if any NBA player jumped over the scorers table and was comming into the stands with fury in his eyes I'd make it a point to maybe not be in his way.

Did you see LOST last night?! oh shit, back to back insanity weeks. I was starting to lose a little faith in this show, but fuck all that its back and I love it. Now if ER can do something to jack my interest back up my monday to thursday nightly hour break will be solidified.

One of my professors tried to act out the opening and closing of a plants' stomate with an interpretive dance. Well at least thats how the back row interpreted the actions. The best way I can describe it is to say it was a combination of that footage of bigfoot (you know the slow-mo walk from left to right with the half head turn towards the camera) with Elaine's jerky-kick dance on Seinfeld. You kinda had to see it to fully appreciate it. Then as the class just stared with a collective blank look she said "sorry, I never had kids" like that was the ingredient missing in making us understand what she was trying to get across.

In that same class there is a kid always asking questions. I know people need to have material cleared up but most times it drives me crazy anyway. This particular guy refuses to raise his hand before asking a question though, he just yells out his questions regardless of what is going on. So basically he just bought himself the top spot on my list of people that need a punch in the face. I mean its not that hard to show a little respect.

"They smile in ya face, but they ain't loving you
Turn your back, they try to break your jay eh double ewe"

- posted by Mike @ 3:01 PM 3 comments

 
Why? .... cuz i said i would

- posted by steve @ 6:23 PM 3 comments

 
Hahaha!


- posted by Mike @ 4:38 PM 1 comments

 
The following takes place between 2pm and 3pm

Tonight at 8 Jack is back, its an all new season of 24. I don't know what the storyline is going to be like this season, but I feel safe in assuming its going to be intense.

I watched the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy last night. Now I've never read the book so maybe I didn't appriciate it as much as I could have, but it seemed like nothing happened. The start of the movie was cool, but then it didn't really go anywhere and all of a sudden the credits were rolling. I give it half a thumb down.

I played pro-line last night and I decided to bet on the Sabres/Kings game. My line of thinking was: the goalies are about equal, but the Kings have more scoring power so I picked the Kings to win by a goal. Final score: 10-1 Buffalo. Damn. Its a special kind of losing when it hits that stage.

Speaking of losing, how bout those Patriots. The pass interference penalty that setup Denver's first touchdown was a bullshit call, but other than that the Pats just got beat. Oh well, if the Colts lose today it'll make me feel a little better about these playoffs (they are currently losing 14-3). I can't believe I'm actually cheering for the Steelers.

What the shit is up with the weather around here? Three consecutive days went +10, -6, +8. I've unpacked the shorts, but I can't put the touque away yet.

Damn, you know this site is getting boring when I'm talking about the weather. I'll have something more entertaining in the next couple days to make up for it.

- posted by Mike @ 2:49 PM 1 comments

 
Do-doo-da-doodoo!
This is the greatest sketch in the history of the Muppets. Just be warned that you may have the tune stuck in your head for weeks. So use at your own risk.

- posted by Mike @ 2:40 PM 2 comments

 
"What are you going to do, beat me with your Jesus stick?"













Sweet murphdog on a cracker did you see LOST tonight?
Damn.
- posted by Mike @ 10:00 PM 1 comments

 
Hes back, and do you know what its like?

Its like Whoa!

I am of course talking about Black Rob's return to the heavy rotation of my playlists. Over the break while I was out Christmas shopping I spotted The Black Rob Report and quickly picked it up. I was, naturally, not disapointed. If you liked Black Rob before you'll probably like this album. If you didn't like him before then you're clearly wack...yeah thats right, wack! I've only got 2 complaints, first off hes on the Bad Boy label and yet Mark Curry (no, not hangin with mr. cooper) and G-Dep are nowhere to be found. Second, Petey Pablo and Craig Mack are both on one track, but its a skit...whos idea was that?

Also if I told you there was an NBA player named in one of my new favorite songs how many guesses would it take before you came up with Pau Gasol?? Iverson, KG and Shaq are the names I expect to hear. Gasol is down around Matt Bonner and Eddie Griffin (no, not the undercover brother) on my list of NBAers I expect to hear rapped about.












"Too long I done let you ball,
now its on, money long like I'm Pau Gasol"
- posted by Mike @ 11:24 AM 0 comments

 
Its been a long time, we shouldn't have left you...
without some pointless junk to amuse you.

So check out The Ultimate Showdown its got Shaq, Chuck Norris, Batman and the Power Rangers so you know its good. Plus whatever this World of Sand thing is. Its the most pointless and enjoyable time-waster I've seen in a while. One of these days I'll get my shit together and make a real post.

"I told you that I'm crazy for these cupcakes cousin!"
- posted by Mike @ 8:47 PM 2 comments