Doorbells should have snooze buttons.
So I've started this new job and the hours are wacking out my sleep paterns. Today however I wasn't working and the only thing on my 'To Do' list was "sleep in hardcore". Then the doorbell starts ringing. Who the hell has the nerve to ring my doorbell at 10 in the morning?! Thats my first thought. *Ding-dong* Who the fuck rings it twice!!?? Now I'm almost angry enough to get up and see who it is. Almost. *Ding-dong* Okay, now I kinda feel like a dick for not answering it earlier, because anyone who would ring the doorbell 3 times either (a) knows I'm home and needs me to come to the door, like a family member that forgot their keys for example, or (b) has some kind of emergency. Right? Those are the only logical reasons for ringing more then twice. The first ring is standard, the second 'courtesy ring' is in case the person in the house didn't hear the first one, or thought they might've heard something but wasn't sure. That third ring though, that third ring is for when there is a fire-breathing dragon chasing you down the street and you need to seek refuge.

Speaking of fire-breathing dragons...I open the door. Now I'm standing there in a housecoat, looking about one level better then a zombie and the first line out of this woman's mouth is "Oh, did I wake you?". Are you serious? It's not like my house is so big that it took this long for me to just walk to the front door. Now if anyone is reading this who isn't from the Toronto area you should know that we have an election coming up and some of the candidates have been going door to door talking shit and trying to secure votes (If you are from the Toronto area and didn't know about the election then shame on you). Thats who I assumed this woman was. Wrong again.

She hands me this flyer, which I'm expecting to say something like "Vote for Me, I'd vote for you!" and then a bunch of reasons why she should be my representative in office. Not even close. How's this for a headline "The End of False Religion is Near!". Yeah, thats what I got out of bed for. Oh and I just checked, it wasn't a fire-breathing dragon in the flyer. It was a seven-headed leopard/jaguar hybrid.

When I get around to actually reading this flyer you'll be sure to hear about it. From the pictures it looks pretty fucking entertaining.
- posted by Mike @ 11:33 AM