Leafs vs. Sens
Pregame:

This is awesome. Hockey is back and James Duthie on TSN couldn't get through his opening line without garbling it up. "The Leafs always win in the playoffs (when they make it), and the Sens take games in the seas- er..reglum...ahh, regular season." He had all summer to work on that one. For shame.

God, Tie Domi is an ugly man. His first line was about as good as Duthie's. "The Leafs need to go out there an win, they can't afford to beat themselves, no one wants to beat themselves". Does that count as its own masturbation joke or do you want to insert one here? Haha 'insert one here', damn this is a filthy pre-show.

"Gotta shoot the puck to score goals". Check. Thanks Tie. I guess Mike Knuble never heard that one. Fuckin Knuble is cashing cheques off of 'goals' other players bank off of him.

Molson Canadian just aired the same commercial they used when the lockout ended. Y'know the one with the guys all singing in front of the TV? Speaking of people that had all summer to come up with something. I hereby declare that I will not drink another Molson beverage until they air a new hockey themed commercial.

Now they're unvailing the Stanley Cup banner in Carolina. But they started with the Conference Champions banner. Wouldn't it be assumed that you won the conference if you got the Cup? Only the losers should have Conference Champion banner raisings. And to think I called Glen Wesley stupid for leaving Toronto to head back to the 'Canes. I bet Jeff O'neill wishes he never left either.

There's a bunch of bagpipers on the ice right now...I think I'll go find something to eat, this game might not start for a while.

Okay I'm back, and while I was eating I heard Tie Domi say that Alfredson looks like 'Bozo The Clown'...about 20 minutes after I said almost the same thing. Damnit, Tie Domi agreed with me. I feel kinda sick and dirty.

Players to watch this game: Sundin, Raycroft, McCabe and Patrick Eaves. Why? Because I drafted them in at least one of my pools.

1st Period

Wait. What the fuck is going on here? Where are Bob Cole and Harry Neale? I can't do a liveblog with Pierre 'MONSTER' McGuire jabbering on all night. This sucks.

TSN has decided to go with the scoring 'bar' across the top of the screen instead of the old school 'box'. This decision I like.

Turns out that I can't do two things at once, like type and watch the game for example. Not much has happened anyway. Wellwood is playing on the top line with Mats Sundin and Alexi Ponakarovski, who is like the the hockey player version of Nik Antropov.

Toronto powerplay! If Paul Maurice has an actual powerplay unit then hes already worth replacing Pat Quinn. The top powerplay unit looks solid, but the B team has given up some shorthanded chances.

Belak took a penalty? I'm shocked. Not that he took one, just that it took him over 18 minutes to get it. What a bum. And no, thats not a homoerotic compliment.

Anyone else think that Paul Maruice looks like Paul Walker and Matt Damon had a love child? And that love child somehow ended up older then both the parents. Okay maybe Maurice looks more like their father...but then I'd have to think up a mother and I already spent half the period figuring out who Maurice looked like so fuck that.

Patrick Eaves scores a powerplay goal. 1-0 Sens. Thats why I took Eaves in the last round of one of my pools.

Intermission

James Duthie just said "If you picked up Patrick Eaves late in your pool, you're looking pretty smart right now." I'm not sure if he was talking specifically to me, but I'm kinda freaked out right now. I think TSN might have one of those key stroke thingamajiggers on my computer. Thats the only explanation right?

2nd Period

Pierre McGuire just confirmed that Jeff O'neill does still have his hands. Just so you know.

Chris Neil just scored...if you have Chris Neil in your pool then.... Well I guess thats cool. 2-0 Sens.

Sundin looks hurt. Thankfully Prime Minister Harper is there to show remorse. Maybe not remorse...sympathy might be a better word. Who can tell with his cold dead eyes anyway.

Sundin...SCORES!! Scores? on a penalty shot. Uh oh, they're going up stairs...and GOAL! The puck got through Gerber's pads, but because it was rolling so slowly the ref signaled no goal, then the puck crossed the line. Silly ref, you know you can wait til the play is over to make your signal right?

Alright I'm outta here. Enjoy the rest of the game. (or LOST or both!)
- posted by Mike @ 7:06 PM